Wiccan Whirlpool

When I became aware I found myself in a bedroom, knowing it was late at night.  There were two full sized beds in the room, which seemed to be a peachey color.  The bedding was all wispy and soft fabric in pinks and whites.  Someone was coming to do their rounds, and this was a cause for great fear. 

I was determined not to hide this time, even though the woman in the next bed had climbed underneath and told me I should do the same.  So I waited, and then I got up to pace, but when I heard them I was so afraid I couldn’t breathe.  Desperately I tried to squeeze under the bed, but the opening was only about six inches high and too small for me to fit.  Just as I was ready to get caught a man came to my rescue.  I never saw his face and nothing about him was familiar to me, but I knew that I loved him and needed him badly, and that my feelings were not necessarily returned, which only made them seem stronger.  He led me to a set of two walk in closets with sliding wooden doors, explaining to “Them” that I was here to get something–he was specific, but I can’t recall what we were trying to find.  So he pulled the little white string to turn on the light (a single, bare bulb), and I began to look through the collection of stuff.  It was all boxed stuff from other times in my life.  There were stuffed animals, clothes, shoes, random memoribilia, books, papers, all that sort of thing.  We were looking in a shoebox filled with scrap paper and he was telling me I should look for my annuity contracts.  I argued that there wasn’t nearly enough money there, for what I don’t know.  I stepped further into the closet, and searched more as “They” were walking away.  When I thought it was safe I asked him if he wouldn’t let me kiss him and hold him for just a moment, and he replied that I couldn’t because they would know, even if they couldn’t see.  His response was like a knife through my heart.  I had opened myself up and asked for what I wanted from him and I was left vulnerable and denied.  Not long after that I needed to find a place to relieve myself and couldn’t.

I don’t know if I ever found what I should have, but we left.  He escorted me through a doorway, and everything changed.  My sense of loss was profound as I walked into garden enclosed by a 20 foot stone wall.  It was a big space but within a normal range, maybe the size of a very large room, 50 x 50 or so.  There were several young trees, some flowering shrubs, climbing roses, and lots of ivy climbing the walls.  One of the trees was on fire because it had been struck by lightening.  There were several people there with me, we were travelling companions.  I was insistent that we put the fire out, but they felt it was part of a natural process.  I complained that it had taken us so long to plant this garden and care for the trees that we had to save the burning one, and they finally helped me put out the blaze.  We started a campfire in a fire ring and gathered around it to sit in aluminum framed folding lawn chairs, the kind with the plastic fabric strips woven around it to make a seat and back.  I think mine was orange and yellow.  I wrapped myself in a big comfy blanket and tried to get comfortabl to sleep on the chair, which is a near impossibility.  I had saved the tree but I would never see the man again.

Apparently I did sleep, and when I opened my eyes I was behind the wheel of a brand new Mustang, gun metal grey, speeding toward a parking lot.  I was headed back to where “They” were, and the fact that I had this powerful car was very important.  I bullied several people out of my way and parked the car in a tiny little spot between two other cars–not a real parking spot.  While the car fit I knew I wouldn’t be able to open the door so I decided to park somewhere else.  Eventually I parked someone in, and got out of the car, ready for my confrontation…and then I woke up.