pick your gods, or do they pick you?" My answer to this quetsion was "well, a
little bit of both, at least in my experience."
When I first decided to formally study Wicca I was very interested in learning
about different pantheons of gods. What I wanted to do was find a particular god
and goddess to work with and claim as "my very own." For starters I looked
through a few books I had on "Celtic magic" and other things Celtic, trying to find
a goddess that I could identify with. Having a Celtic set of gods seemed very
romantic to me, for lack of a better word. For a large part of my life I have loved
things Celtic, I even have two Celtic tattoos, though as far as I know not a drop
of Celtic blood in my veins. Regardless of my reading, I never did come across a
goddess or a god that I felt "fit."
I then took up my "Encyclopedia of Gods," by Michael Jordan. The book has
its faults but it is a good starting place, if for no other reason than it lists so many
different deities. I started looking for ancestral gods of the Slavs. Since my
maiden name is Croatian I though perhaps I'd find a match here. Well, I've got
news for you--there are FEW references in that book, as well as in the ISU
library (that I could find, anyway) to Slavic gods. That very much felt like a dead
end.
As I was about ready to give up, as I was staring dejectedly at my bookshelf,
reaching for another volume that I knew probably wouldn't help me, I literally
heard a voice in my (right) ear that said "Hey sweetie, don't forget about me!"
Oddly enough, I knew it was Freyja.
Strangely, I wasn't terribly gung-ho about this at first. Yes, so half of my family
is of unbroken German descent and I had read and heard all kinds of arguements
for picking gods that match your ancestry. I had also read and heard plenty of
Asatru philosophy, mostly from the groups who use Asatru as an
excuse/reinforcement for neo-Naziism. In no way was I interested in being
associated with such philosophy (please note, I am not claiming that all Asatru are
neo-Nazis, I am just relating my impressions at a certain point in time to
demonstrate my thought process).
The experience kept nagging at me, however. I asked a folklorist friend of mine
for any reading material on Norse gods she might have, and she did have quite a
selection. So I started reading, and the more I read the more pleased I was! For
starters, Freyja is not an Aesir, she's a Vanir (obviously these are things I didn't
know at the time). So many aspects of this particular goddess resonated strongly
with me, and so did aspects of her brother Freyr. Over a period of a few weeks I
agreed to be adopted by them--and this is how I look at the whole process in this
instance. Freyja and Freyr have remained my Matron and Patron so far, and I
have a feeling that we have a lifelong relationship ahead of us.
On a completely different note, I do work with Inanna, Ereshkigal, and Ea on
occasion. This was a case of me seeking them out for certain aspects of the
Divine that they encompas for me, and of them agreeing to work with me. I
don't have the kind of relationship with them as I do with my Matron and Patron
but we seem to have a nice working relationship.